My friends, happy Valentine's! May this day be full of delicious treats, ruffley dresses, wonderful friends, and highly drinkable wine paired with all your favorite movies. Now, here are ten French pastries that I would super love to have delivered to me by any or all of my admirers, preferably anonymously. Take note:
Imagine my delight finding this neatly wrapped in pink paper and ribbon outside my apartment door! This cake-jam sandwich has a special place on my Valentine's snack platter this year. Bonus points if there are heart shapes baked into the top.
Okay, so maybe this one isn't as obscure, but what it lacks in niche, it makes up for in portability. Grab a handful of these tiny, caramelized bad boys and toss them in your tote bag for later. Sneak them into a museum or something so you can snack while you cry and try to insert yourself into Impressionist landscapes of simpler times.
Honestly, I really wish somewhat had told me sooner that there was a pastry out there cosplaying as a hamburger. I mean, the crystal sugar? The bun? Delicious, playful, evidently creamy and delicious. Add them to my order, please and thank you.
My sources claim that there are not, in fact, obscure, at least en France. But guess where we are not? That's right, France (despite many hours spent manifesting it). Until my Parisian prayers are answered, I will make do by carefully deconstructing these one by one from the comfort of my bed, being extra careful to not get the dark chocolate icing on my nap dress.
Cute fluffy pastries are one thing, but a whole-ass cake is quite another. Especially when it's basically the French's answer to the American cookie cake. It's a cookie sandwich, really, but layered with straight icing. Hazelnut icing. These are also an acceptable contribution to my cause today.
Easily the most aggressively festive of today's lineup, the Marie Antoinette should be an obvious choice for sending my way as a token of affection. Peep the icing garlands, the incredibly neat (yet tiny) layers, the raspberry popped on top. Have you ever seen a baked good with such massive Elle Woods vibes? Thought not. 10/10.
Moelleux au chocolat
As long as we're talking obvious choices- the chocolate lava cake of France, basically. That's all.
Gibassier
If the idea is to send me something by the dozen, may I suggest these sugary leaf-shaped breads. Glorious with a latte. Even glorious-er with a steaming cup of independence. Mmh, delicious.
Mille-feuille
Fans of the GBB (Great British Bake-off, for the uninitiated) will recognize these delightful and tremendously difficult to eat double-decker sugar sandwiches, named for the one thousand sheets of pastry rolled out to craft these babies. Frosting? Pristine. Festive? Absolutely.
Because life is unpredictable and we all must adjust to this fact, may I offer a savory contribution to the list. Specifically, the French equivalent of pan de queijo, the Brazilian cheese bread things that I could truly eat all day. So, make it French and get it to me.
Happy Valentine's Day from all of us here at Pretend Vacation! Stay cute, stay hydrated, keep up the good work.
-Helen
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