Out of Office: Vol. I - Pretend Vacation

Out of Office: Vol. I

 Thanks for reaching out! We'll be away from our desks through the weekend, but if you need us, we'll be...

CLAIRE:  Several miles up in the stratosphere, wearing a ten gallon hat, chaps, boots, and a big belt buckle. I will be lassoing the smaller clouds and exclaiming various cowboy phrases as I please. “BOY HOWDY!” “ALRIGHT NOW!” “SOOOO-EYY!”
 

KATE:  In this movie theater, except there is a karaoke machine hooked up to the big screen. I’m wearing a lush velvet suit and I’m alone except for one other person who just happens to believe I am the biggest star that crashed into Earth even though I very much am not. I perform to their constant applause all night.


HELEN:  Laid out on a beach in Mallorca, wearing this glittery bikini and an enormous floppy hat that makes me look like I might be a minor royal with many riches. For lunch, I will be slurping lemon pasta and sipping fruity blended drinks until sunset, when I will change into this glittery dress and go dancing until 2 AM.

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