Grandma Crafts

    I have in my possession a set of blank needlepoint bridge score cards on yellowed cardstock, palm-sized and book-shaped. Currently, their covers are a map of tiny holes, waiting for a needle and wool thread. The cards were a gift from my retired neighbor Maureen, who set them aside for me while clearing out her craft stash (the dream past time! My love for craft supplies and minimalism are equal in measure). 

    Despite the fact that I neither needlepoint nor play bridge, it’s no surprise that Maureen thought to give the cards to me. As quarantine drags on, my defenses against so-called ‘grandma crafts’ grows weaker and weaker. I want to indulge in my niche interests the way only retired women of means over 60 can. If the retired women in my life weren’t the busiest and most social people I know, I’d be tempted to say that lockdown has created their perfect conditions for success: staying at home during the day, focusing on hobbies, and most importantly, never encountering or valuing another person’s opinion. 

    This last condition is what gives way to the true indulgence of grandma activities. Now that I’m living in all these same conditions, I’m beginning to wonder, so what if I want some more doilies around the house, huh? So what?? As others lose touch with humanity or reality in quarantine, I’m losing my sense of taste.[] And as my Pinterest algorithm continues to mutate, I can no longer deny how strongly grandma crafts, such as the ones below, call to me.

    BEADED BROOCHES: These feel late-80s in a way I’m not sure is cool yet. Like a Lucille Bluth way, not a Sigourney Weaver way. And aren’t we all just trying to be Sigourney Weaver?? Regardless, I want container after container of shiny beads sitting on my desk, divided by color. 

Monstera Brooch

    RIBBON EMBROIDERY: Texture! Shiny! I can practically smell that floral sachet scent! I want them on everything I ever touch. 

Ribbon Bouquet

    GRANNY SQUARES: With each square comes a sense of accomplishment. The repetition of the crocheting square after square is quashed by the variety of colors and designs. (Have you ever knitted a shawl? Halfway through you never want to see whatever color you’ve chosen again.) The desire to turn my bedroom into a 2006 American Girl Doll catalog spread calls to me from these 5’x5’ daisy squares. 

Daisy Blanket

    Are these crafts cool? Are they coming back around, as long as someone young and trendy does them? I have no idea anymore. And I’m not sure I care. At this point in quarantine though, we might as well. What does taste or trend mean in the face of existential crisis and political downfall? If you need me, I’ll be eating Werther’s originals from a cut glass bowl that’s shaped like a heart.

-Claire