Drunk Tank Pink

    This TikTok has been making the rounds in my neck of the world wide woods, and it's got my brain wheels turning. The Tiktoker explains the history and effects of Baker-Miller Pink (also known as Drunk Tank Pink). Why is it painted on the walls of a cell? Because it's been shown, via genuine research, to physically weaken those who are exposed to it. It knocks the wind out of belligerent jailers' sails. 

Drunk Tank Pink

     There are lots of colors out there. Infinite colors, though we may not be able to discern the difference between them all. By the Law of Large Numbers, there's got to be more colors with measurable, physical effects on the human body or psyche. I've heard of painting kitchens red to increase appetite, or green to subdue it. But I'm imagining a Salt type scenario, where we just haven't unlocked the full potential of all the colors the human eyes can see. Luckily for us and for the field of science, I already have my best guesses for what colors matter:

#31cec1

    This color makes you want to be a mermaid again, even though you haven't in over a decade and you're not even sure how mermaid society works. Will you have a mermaid job? Will it be the equivalent of your current job but underwater and with clams instead of keyboard keys? It wouldn't matter though, because you'd have a shiny tail and your hair would always be flowing and you'd be one with the ocean.

#8215ab

    This luscious purple makes you taste grape soda. You have not had grape soda since the first time you had grape soda at the age of 7. 

#b24d7c

    Due to it's similarity to Drunk Tank Pink,  this mauve has a comparable physical effect. It lowers your flecibility by 20%. If you could do the splits before, bad news. Now you need a pillow to put under your hips. It's like you didn't even spend summer mornings from 8:30 am to 11 am at the local gymnastics camp doing bad cartwheels as a child. It's like you've never decided to spend 30 minutes at the gym, 15 of which are dedicated to "stretching it out," which doesn't have much concrete evidence of being helpful to muscle formation

#a4a137

    Whoops! looks like you found the grumpy color! Like it says on the tin, this color makes you grumpy. Imagine someone painting their bedroom this color. Ugh. See?? It's working!

 #1c287c

    Wow. I'm sorry to have taken you on such a whirlwind physical and emotional experience with my collection of supernatural colors.  Here's a color that has no superpowers, other than the fact that it looks like the sky on a cloudless night. Maybe you're just heading out with your friends, maybe your finally headed home and to bed, maybe you're on the roof of your house, watching for comets and thinking about someone special. Whichever is the case, you feel content.

-Claire